Look familiar? People move all the time. The revolving door of the real estate market proves that the majority of us are constantly rotating around our very own monopoly board. Changes in jobs, relationships, health, financial status and… whims, sometimes require it. Plenty of people are getting plenty of adventures, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
Relocating means losing the security of all that you are used to — besides the home that you’ve lovingly tended for years, you lose neighbors, friends, a reliable haircut, a doc that knows you inside and out, and a favorite hardware store… where you know the aisles inside and out. However, even though the old way is gone, a new way has appeared. And who knows, maybe it’s even better. I know this all to be true, but I need plenty of reminders lately. Apparently, giving advice is easier than taking it.
In all my enthusiasm for warmer temperatures, this other side of moving slipped my attention: I lost the familiar. You’d think there’d be nothing but joy and relief at starting a new chapter in life, but the initial busyness of unpacking is over and a feeling of loss is creeping in. I miss familiar faces, familiar dance partners, and where all the shops and services are in town. Most of all, I miss having regular dates with friends where, as the Brits call it, chinwags lift a body’s spirit.
I keep trying to lift my mood and then remember, I don’t have to. Grief 101: the size of grief corresponds to the depth of attachment. The strength of the bond determines the length of recovery. Letting go of my old life will take time, and I can take as much as I want. Lots of energy is spent trying to make grief go away, but we all do it to avoid the subtle judgment of our community, who generally wants us to “get over it” and get on with it. Even though this loss doesn’t compare to the death of someone dear, the process of adjusting to change and letting go is similar. Grief is as unique as a fingerprint.
Of course, true adventurers look forward to the unknown, but for others (ME), that stress of not knowing your environment is real. I will continue to be patient. HOWEVER, I really really really miss my favorite pizza joint with its artichoke, feta, garlic and sun dried tomatoes pizza. Village Pizza in Langley, WA rocks!