All over the U.S. this coming Monday, we will remember. Not only about the soldiers we’ve lost, but about all those other deaths we’ve had to live through over the years: moms and dads and grandparents and kids and mates and friends and, the list is endless. Adjustment to major loss is so hard, but this I know for sure; there are no rules. Oh, the profound sadness mellows in time, but the memory of “then” can sometimes loom like it was yesterday. If Memorial Day bring anguish for you, but you also want to honor your loved ones, here’s an idea to try. Set a time limit ahead of time. “I will spend 30 minutes tomorrow remembering, wallowing, or weeping.” Five minutes if the pain is too great. The trick is to decide ahead of time, so it’ll be easier to switch emotional gears when the time comes. Good luck and… remember to remembe