Fear is weird sometimes. Being scared when your house is on fire makes sense, but being scared of a tiny needle and 10 seconds of pain is just plain silly. I call it “silly” to make sure my brain keeps it in the trivial category — I do have a habit of making mountains out of molehills.

That facing-your-fears philosophy has always puzzled me because I usually try to avoid things that makes me nervous. As you might know by now, I don’t do anxiety well. Life is probably easier if you toughen up, but the toughening up part never seems worth it. Now, it seems, I have no choice but to man-up. The eczema I’ve had for a couple years is getting worse and now requires injections, much like an EpiPen. It’s not that I’m afraid of needles — I’ve seen plenty — it’s the “self-administered” part that’s freaking me out. Hurting myself ON PURPOSE just goes against the grain.

Talking to myself works temporarily, “Calm down, Carol, it’s just 10 seconds of your life. No big deal!” However, my brain is clearly not convinced, even though it’s seen lots of YouTube videos that show people giving themselves injections. No one is flinching or even winching! I’m guessing you actually start looking forward to it when you can see your skin looking like skin again.

My first shot of Dupixent was in the doctor’s office so they could show me how’s it’s done. Easy peasy… except for the pain part. It was surprising how easily an obscenity rolled off my tongue. And so loud, too. When time rolled around for the second shot two weeks later, I chickened out at the last minute and headed back for help. My thigh was numbed with ice this time and, happily, no need for bad words. I did bring Bill along, hoping to woo him into doing the dirty deed and he agreed. Perhaps he’ll enjoy stabbing his wife occasionally!

A month has passed but results aren’t in yet. The itching — think poison oak — is getting better, but the skin? Gross! With summer coming on I was hoping to expose my legs in public again soon, but you can tell by the lack of an image here that I’m not quite ready. Although, I have heard of a thing called leg makeup. Hmmm.